We Are Young

My driving test. Well... that didn't go well. I felt so prepared, finally, after all that fretting and worrying about failing. I drove around beforehand, pretty confident. After the long wait time and car check, I was finally ready to get going with the test, BUT I never left the DMV; I auto-failed because of examiner intervention... I pulled up to the stop sign, ready to go. I waited for the cars to turn and cars to pass, then I took my foot off the brake pedal, BUT some driver comes speeding down the lane and the examiner goes STOP! "to prevent an accident from occurring." Sigh. Oh well, going to be even more cautious 2nd time around - in 2 weeks!!

Yesterday, one of my best friends, Devika, and her boyfriend came by my house and asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch. YAY FOR SPONTANEITY! <3 We went out to IHOP for breakfast food lunch :D I also had the first day of our two day varsity tennis tryouts...

Today, Devika came by to straighten my hair. Then, I had senior portraits at school. Lots of people don't like taking pictures or dressing up. Many of our class just went in for the yearbook picture - in then out, asap. Me? I guess I'm a bit of an oddball; I love dressing up, and taking pictures is actually pretty fun, especially if its going to be studio quality x] Then, I quickly changed to get to the second day of tennis tryouts. The results are supposed to be emailed out tonight by our coach, but they're still not here!! I'm nervous!!

Oh. Also today, I was singing quite a bit x] To what? Why how about I show you?

Tonight, Today, To Accomplish

Today, I practiced driving with my permit, hopefully for the last time; tomorrow is my driving test! O: Fingers crossed...
Today, I also received an email from the tennis coach saying I am one of 8 competing for the remaining 5 open spots on the varsity team. Bring it!
Today, I also started reading this book I bought called White Witch, Black Curse by Kim Harrison.

Tomorrow, Tuesday, and beyond, I accomplish! :D

Tonight and earlier today's song: Tonight Tonight - Hot Chelle Rae

So catchy!


It’s been a really really messed up week
Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter
And my girlfriend went and cheated on me
She’s a California dime but it’s time for me to quit her

La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn’t matter, la la la, oh well, la la la

We’re going at it tonight tonight
There’s a party on the rooftop top of the world
Tonight tonight and were dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign
I don’t know if I’ll make it but watch how good I’ll fake it
Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

I woke up with a strange tattoo
Not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket
And it kinda looks just like you

La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn’t matter, la la la, oh well, la la la

We’re going at it tonight tonight
There’s a party on the rooftop top of the world
Tonight tonight and were dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign
I don’t know if I’ll make it but watch how good I’ll fake it
Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

You got me singing like
Woah, come on, ohh, it doesn’t matter, woah, everybody now, ohh

Just don’t stop let’s keep the beat pumpin’
Keep the beat up, lets drop the beat down
It’s my party dance if I want to
We can get crazy let it all out

Just don’t stop let’s keep the beat pumpin’
Keep the beat up, lets drop the beat down
It’s my party dance if I want to
We can get crazy let it all out

Its you and me and were runnin this town
And its me and you and were shakin the ground
And ain’t nobody gonna tell us to go cause this is our show

Everybody
Woah, come on, ohh, all you animals
Woah, let me hear you now, ohh

Tonight tonight there’s a party on the rooftop top of the world
Tonight tonight and were dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign
I don’t know if I’ll make it but watch how good I’ll fake it
Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight
Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight
Yeah its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

Just singing like
Woah, come on, ohh, all you party people
Woah, all you singletons, ohh, even the white kids

Just don’t stop lets keep the beat pumpin’
Keep the beat up, lets drop the beat down
Its my party dance if I want to
We can get crazy let it all out

Just don’t stop lets keep the beat pumpin’
Keep the beat up, lets drop the beat down
Its my party dance if I want to
We can get crazy let it all out

Apple Juice Isn't Juice, It's a Backpack

What did the past two days have in common? Apple juice.

Two days ago, my best friend texted me asking if I would go backpack shopping with him. Sure. Why not? So I drove to his house and he drove both of us to MULTIPLE stores including Kohl's, Sears, Ross, Marshalls, and the Buena Park Mall. We could not find a single backpack that he liked. Instead, we talked about the wedding dresses we saw in the multiple bridal stores that occupy the Buena Park Mall and such. He bought no backpack and we went back to his house with nothing but a container of apple juice - not that I'm complaining, we LOVE apple juice. :D

Playlist of the day: 30 Seconds to Mars, Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Avenged Sevenfold, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, The All-American Rejects, Rise Against, My Chemical Romance, etc.

CONNECTION. apple juice.

Yesterday was my friend, Tim's, birthday party: the big 18. Officially an adult! He's legal now. Well not really, not until the 22nd, but still. It started in the afternoon and I had no ride from the family nor a license, so my friend, Sumesh, came to pick me up. As soon as I walked out my front door, I could hear music blasting. I could hear him before I could see where his car was - it actually took me a moment to find his car. He introduced me to this radio station I never really listened to before, but completely fits my music taste - 104.3, My FM. One of the songs I distinctly remember playing was the Script's song, Breakeven, which was completely fitting my mood yesterday. You know the feeling? When certain songs just work?                               Anyway, we got to Tim's house where we watched Zombieland, played Rock Band, and ate pizza, hot wings, and cupcakes topped with glass shards made of sugar. We were thirsty, so we asked Tim if he had anything to drink. He said he had no soda, so we asked for juice. He said "We don't have juice... but we have apple juice." WHAT?! Since when was apple juice not juice?? EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER KNOWN HAS BEEN A LIE!!! Alright, then, when we ran out of juice, he pulled out cans of red cream soda and root beer. Uh. Was that not soda? That was quite hilarious, too, because he said that the red cream soda tasted disgusting, yet the entire group at the table thought otherwise, which made him quite shocked and decided to offer us more to get rid of it all. Later, the boys and Megan were playing Halo, so Sophia, Alyssa, and I sat on a recliner talking, watching them play while having no idea what they were doing, and letting me do their hair. Then came something I can actually DO. Monopoly! I haven't played in years, but I dominated yesterday! So. Much. Fun. After several hours at Tim's, it was time to head home...

Awesome Cover of Breakeven by 12 year old, Maddi Jane:

CONNECTION. breakeven.

Today, I heard this amazing cover by a 12 year old girl, Maddi Jane. The video can be found above. In addition to that song, however, was also a song from Tarzan, You'll Be In My Heart:

Not much else to say about today though really. Time to head to bed to a new tomorrow [:

Mockingjay and Lighters

Technically, today is no longer today. It was yesterday. Why am I still up at this hour? Oh, maybe because I spent all day reading the amazing final book of the Hunger Games Series: Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins. Our school's wonderful library technician had let me check out the book even though school hasn't officially started yet; dang, I am such a bookworm. "Today," aka technical yesterday, was registration for me: it's official! I am now a senior! My how time flies... I was talking to my best friend since 3rd grade... It has been years and years, yet it seems like a few days ago that we met. We still sound very much so like kids the way we talk to each other really; if you were to actually listen in on one of our conversations, you'd never think we were 17 (But why on Earth would you do that? Creep.) I also had a conversation with several of my other friends, both in my grade, and outside of my grade today; I got and gave lots of hugs, too. On top of that, there was my conversation with Mr. Kovac, our library technician, who is quite funny and honestly, one of my favorite staff members; he's just amazing. I also talked a bit with Mrs. Erickson, my beloved 9th grade English teacher, who has retired as of the end of the last school year, but was back to teach the little newbies at orientation. This is the second time I've gone to see her during this little orientation week session, but that's not too much for one of my closest teachers. She is absolutely inspiring.
Back to the topic of registration, though. It was split into several stations as always; all the stations went by pretty quickly and smoothly, except for one - we were stuck in that line for almost the entire time we were there for the whole registration!! Then, there was the station for taking pictures for our school IDs. I had to borrow my guy friend's jacket because apparently my tank top with pretty wide straps was still too revealing and inappropriate. This other girl had long sleeves but the shoulder area was exposed by slits and they made her pull her sleeves up. OBVIOUSLY. Shoulders are just so darn SCANDALOUS!!
Overall, not a bad day. Saw a lot of my friends, some of which I haven't seen at all this summer, some not quite enough, and those who I'll never get sick of ;D I spent practically my entire day reading for pleasure. Which is, wouldn't you know it, pleasurable. But, honestly, I love to read for leisure, and I don't seem to get enough time for that anymore. I also went on another night run, listening to the sound of my footsteps and taking in the night air and sky is exhilarating and feels like freedom! Ah, so free.
But reality calls. I still have summer homework to complete and school is impending. I am up at 12:36 AM at the moment typing away at this blog post and I have to be ready and at school to play tennis at 7:00 AM. I haven't completely processed that I am to be a senior and I'll have college applications due soon, then off to college soon after that! My oh my. Let's do this thing!

Song of the Day (on repeat):

I am Butterfly

Feeling so much more like myself again these past couple days!! It's the best feeling. I am feeling so much more productive than I have for a while. I've picked up my college search again and started on my brag package as well as started looking at the supplement questions for the private colleges on the common app. I still need to get a move on summer homework, though. THAT is a bit of an issue; I've STARTED, but that's not quite good enough... I really need to get that DONE. Soon. I still have some time for college applications and such, but summer homework is going to be due soon! Leave it to me to be all topsy turvy... I also need to get all my stuff moved downstairs! I was supposed to move my room from upstairs to downstairs forever ago, but I've only succeeded in moving down my books, magazines, yearbooks, trophies, and closet... all this other stuff needs to sprout feet and go downstairs! Yea... wishful thinking. I know that's not going to happen; get going Vanessa! Yes, I talk to myself sometimes. Problem?

I'm not 100% sure what's gotten me to feel so much more like myself lately, but I do know that it's probably at least partially to do with talking to and hanging out with amazing, remarkable people. I spent a few days of this summer talking to and going places with my best friend/brother, Jeffrey. I spent some time with some of my friends that I hadn't seen in a while, Patrick and Timmy. I went out to the park with my little sister, one of my best friends, her little sister, and some of our sister's friends. I haven't seen this girl (Devika) in so long; we don't always get the chance to see each other or talk, but we always pick up as if we saw each other the other day; THAT is how close we are. We stuck around the park after the little ones left for home, helping out with the concert at the park... enjoying the rock music all the while. I met some people from Devika's school who happened to be around for the concert. I've gone running at night, which is the best time of the day, either by myself, with my little brother or sister tagging along on their bikes, and/or with Ryan, who I met through Devika that day. My sister thinks we're quite strange, probably because we are: during our runs we have random sounding questions. For example: our story of a pillow, who lived a long life then exploded into a mess a feathers. BLOOD! VIOLENCE! FEATHERS!! A feather floats out an open window and we follow its travel across the world until it is placed into a hat. Yankee Doodle's hat to be exact. Then, we follow its journey over the world in a whole new experience upon Yankee Doodle's head and as it is passed down from person to person. Ah... what a fulfilled life for a little feather. Yes, we're quirky. Actually, quite a lot of my friends are which is why I love them. A few days ago, I was at school still after my math class with no food nor money with me and hours to go left at school. I walked my friend/twin sister back to her house and she gave me some snackage to take with me. Back at school, I sat myself down on a bench, ready to nibble away at this food and start up on math homework, only to be greeted by our wonderful school registrar, Mrs. Burgner. She invited me into her office to sit and work in the air conditioning rather than take the sun's beating. I have not talked to Mrs. Burgner much prior to this day, but sitting there, we held a nice conversation about multiple things. We talked for about an hour or so before I realized I had a missed call from my friend Sumesh. My phone had been on silent from class and I hadn't bothered to change it back, so I called him back. Turns out he and our friend, Alyssa, had been at school looking for me, but couldn't find me, so they drove off to the mall without me. They asked me if I wanted them to come back since I was still at school. I said it was alright and they could just hang out at the mall until Speech and Debate camp when I would see them anyway. I was totally fine because Mrs. Burgner is quite wonderful company, and I was actually getting math homework done! She soon offered me a Crunch bar. YAY CHOCOLATE! Then, Sumesh and Alyssa showed up at school because they just didn't want to leave me there alone; what considerate friends [: To be even more considerate, they had brought chili bbq fries from the Potato Corner and liters of soda. I went from having absolutely no food to quite a lot. Ah, how spoiled I am. Then, there's Speech and Debate. We had our mock tournament the day before. It was amazing as always. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Speech and Debate tournaments: the people, the new ideas, the atmosphere, the competition, everything. I always get so excited. I had a ton of fun debating with my partner, Ronald, and performing my dual interpretation with my partner, Sumesh. And it turns out we did pretty well, too! We ended up winning our debate round and placing first in our interpretation round.

-EDIT- I also rewatched Beetlejuice and Aladdin today, watched the Phineas and Ferb movie with my littler brother, played on the Wii with him, and had Mexican food for dinner. I also finished answer two out of many supplement questions for my college apps and about half of my literary term flashcards for English summer homework. That doesn't sound like much, but its the little things that count. -END EDIT-

I think what it is is that laughter, smiles, and a good attitude is simply contagious. And you feel more productive and simply right when happier. I've been laughing and smiling a lot with these people because they're either so easy to talk to or just have that way of making me happier; or they're simply so jovial themselves. One of the best is laughing with my sister. We don't always get along, but when we do, we cannot be matched. Last night for example, we were singing and dancing like weirdos in my room and couldn't stop laughing. We were laughing even more on our run/bike ride a couple nights ago - so much, in fact, we were drawing a bit too much attention to ourselves. I laughed so much - while running - that I actually lost my breath. How glorious it feels to feel like myself again. How lifting it feels to know who I am. I am Vanessa. I am Butterfly. (What does that mean? Have you not caught on to this reoccurring theme? ;P)

Little Things Can Make You Feel Like You're Flying

Things that made me smile today:
Seeing the first hummingbird I've seen a while fluttering around our backyard.
Looking at all the beautiful flowers and plants in our backyard and front yard.
My little brother telling me I look pretty today.
My little sister saying she likes my hair today.
Driving my friend, Robin, home and her saying that I am a good driver.
The Speech and Debate mock tournament that we have been preparing for for the past 5 weeks or so.
Doing pretty darn amazing at the tournament.
Two of my lovely friends, Sophia and Alyssa, said they were my fan club.
Hugs from my adorable, little brother.

I am feeling wonderful today - as if I were about to sprout wings and fly... fly like a butterfly [:

Butterfly: A Sign for Renewal, Rebirth, and Change

It still hasn't completely hit me yet: summer is coming rapidly to a close. I don't want to say end per se, because it's simply a beginning. There has been so much filled into this summer that I don't want to forget:
I had a wonderful roadtrip around Arizona, Utah, and Vegas with my family, my mom's best friend, and two of her kids.
I met many new people through summer tennis camp and speech and debate camp.
I got closer to some of my previous friends.
I realized more than ever how special the people in my life are.
I had some spontaneous hang outs.
I was assistant chef in creating a feast for a picnic in the park with my friends.
I went to the beach and several pool parties.
I beasted at Twister and charades with my friends.
I went to my first real concert with my sister: Usher!
I hung out at the park with my sister, one of my best friends, her sister, and our sister's friends.
I volunteered.
I saw a rock concert held at the park.
I have been going running; beating personal bests and feeling amazing about it.
Who knows what tomorrow will hold?
For me tomorrow should be ton loads of fun: MOCK TOURNAMENT for speech and debate. Boy am I a nerd or what? It's okay; I've found a place for myself within our school and speech and debate is definitely that place.
For more tomorrows to come: I'm going to be a senior!!! I can hardly believe it! (WHO WHO? ONE TWO! CLASS OF 2012!) I'm not sure if I'm ready for all this yet, but whether or not I am, it's coming. Hello Senior Sunrise, College Apps, Senior Luau, Senior Prom, Senior Presentations, Senior Sunset, Graduation, Grad Night, and every amazing thing in between.

Often times, when I'm out and about or simply reclined pensively, a butterfly crosses my path, fluttering along; sometimes one comes about and circles me. This always brings a smile to my face. It makes me think about how things will constantly change, but change isn't always bad. It's a sign to me that everything will turn out okay and things happen for a reason.

One day during the last school year, I wrote a poem called Butterfly Wings and read it in English class; as I was walking to my next class during passing period, this beautiful monarch butterfly fly up and circled around me several times before flying off into the blue of the sky.

I am Vanessa, Greek for butterfly. And I will be butterfly: a sign for renewal, rebirth, and change. I will be butterfly - fluttering off free and liberated to a new place and new life - traveling the wonders the world has to offer.

The Things You Don't Know: Butterfly Blinks

English Translations of a Chinese song: 你不知道的事 (The Things You Don't Know)


I just think this song is so beautiful... Let your heart listen to these words and allow it to fill your soul. Can't you feel the every shattering teardrop and blink of a butterfly? If not, maybe one day it'll hit you and you'll understand.


How many times does a butterfly blink
Before it learns to fly?
The sky is sprinkled over with countless stars
But how many there will remain?

Even as I fly, you fall
So close I can hear you breathe
So sorry I didn't keep hold of you

You don't know why I had to leave you
How could I ignore your every cry
All the while the downpour of your tears shattering the ground
So clearly pierced my heart
You don't know why I had to keep away
Circling in the sky above, just out of sight
So many are the things you never knew


How many times does a butterfly blink
Before it learns to fly?
The sky is sprinkled over with countless stars
But how many there will remain?

Even as I fly, you fall
So close I can hear you breath
So sorry I didn't keep hold of you

You don't know why I had to leave you
How could I ignore your every cry
All the while the downpour of your tears shattering the ground
So clearly pierced my heart
You don't know why I had to keep away
Circling in the sky above, just out of sight
So many are the things you never knew

Even as I fly, you fall
ohh ohh

You don't know why I had to leave you
How could I ignore your every cry
All the while the downpour of your tears shattering the ground
So clearly pierced my heart
You don't know why I had to keep away
Circling in the sky above, just out of sight
So many are the things you never knew