I am Butterfly

Feeling so much more like myself again these past couple days!! It's the best feeling. I am feeling so much more productive than I have for a while. I've picked up my college search again and started on my brag package as well as started looking at the supplement questions for the private colleges on the common app. I still need to get a move on summer homework, though. THAT is a bit of an issue; I've STARTED, but that's not quite good enough... I really need to get that DONE. Soon. I still have some time for college applications and such, but summer homework is going to be due soon! Leave it to me to be all topsy turvy... I also need to get all my stuff moved downstairs! I was supposed to move my room from upstairs to downstairs forever ago, but I've only succeeded in moving down my books, magazines, yearbooks, trophies, and closet... all this other stuff needs to sprout feet and go downstairs! Yea... wishful thinking. I know that's not going to happen; get going Vanessa! Yes, I talk to myself sometimes. Problem?

I'm not 100% sure what's gotten me to feel so much more like myself lately, but I do know that it's probably at least partially to do with talking to and hanging out with amazing, remarkable people. I spent a few days of this summer talking to and going places with my best friend/brother, Jeffrey. I spent some time with some of my friends that I hadn't seen in a while, Patrick and Timmy. I went out to the park with my little sister, one of my best friends, her little sister, and some of our sister's friends. I haven't seen this girl (Devika) in so long; we don't always get the chance to see each other or talk, but we always pick up as if we saw each other the other day; THAT is how close we are. We stuck around the park after the little ones left for home, helping out with the concert at the park... enjoying the rock music all the while. I met some people from Devika's school who happened to be around for the concert. I've gone running at night, which is the best time of the day, either by myself, with my little brother or sister tagging along on their bikes, and/or with Ryan, who I met through Devika that day. My sister thinks we're quite strange, probably because we are: during our runs we have random sounding questions. For example: our story of a pillow, who lived a long life then exploded into a mess a feathers. BLOOD! VIOLENCE! FEATHERS!! A feather floats out an open window and we follow its travel across the world until it is placed into a hat. Yankee Doodle's hat to be exact. Then, we follow its journey over the world in a whole new experience upon Yankee Doodle's head and as it is passed down from person to person. Ah... what a fulfilled life for a little feather. Yes, we're quirky. Actually, quite a lot of my friends are which is why I love them. A few days ago, I was at school still after my math class with no food nor money with me and hours to go left at school. I walked my friend/twin sister back to her house and she gave me some snackage to take with me. Back at school, I sat myself down on a bench, ready to nibble away at this food and start up on math homework, only to be greeted by our wonderful school registrar, Mrs. Burgner. She invited me into her office to sit and work in the air conditioning rather than take the sun's beating. I have not talked to Mrs. Burgner much prior to this day, but sitting there, we held a nice conversation about multiple things. We talked for about an hour or so before I realized I had a missed call from my friend Sumesh. My phone had been on silent from class and I hadn't bothered to change it back, so I called him back. Turns out he and our friend, Alyssa, had been at school looking for me, but couldn't find me, so they drove off to the mall without me. They asked me if I wanted them to come back since I was still at school. I said it was alright and they could just hang out at the mall until Speech and Debate camp when I would see them anyway. I was totally fine because Mrs. Burgner is quite wonderful company, and I was actually getting math homework done! She soon offered me a Crunch bar. YAY CHOCOLATE! Then, Sumesh and Alyssa showed up at school because they just didn't want to leave me there alone; what considerate friends [: To be even more considerate, they had brought chili bbq fries from the Potato Corner and liters of soda. I went from having absolutely no food to quite a lot. Ah, how spoiled I am. Then, there's Speech and Debate. We had our mock tournament the day before. It was amazing as always. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Speech and Debate tournaments: the people, the new ideas, the atmosphere, the competition, everything. I always get so excited. I had a ton of fun debating with my partner, Ronald, and performing my dual interpretation with my partner, Sumesh. And it turns out we did pretty well, too! We ended up winning our debate round and placing first in our interpretation round.

-EDIT- I also rewatched Beetlejuice and Aladdin today, watched the Phineas and Ferb movie with my littler brother, played on the Wii with him, and had Mexican food for dinner. I also finished answer two out of many supplement questions for my college apps and about half of my literary term flashcards for English summer homework. That doesn't sound like much, but its the little things that count. -END EDIT-

I think what it is is that laughter, smiles, and a good attitude is simply contagious. And you feel more productive and simply right when happier. I've been laughing and smiling a lot with these people because they're either so easy to talk to or just have that way of making me happier; or they're simply so jovial themselves. One of the best is laughing with my sister. We don't always get along, but when we do, we cannot be matched. Last night for example, we were singing and dancing like weirdos in my room and couldn't stop laughing. We were laughing even more on our run/bike ride a couple nights ago - so much, in fact, we were drawing a bit too much attention to ourselves. I laughed so much - while running - that I actually lost my breath. How glorious it feels to feel like myself again. How lifting it feels to know who I am. I am Vanessa. I am Butterfly. (What does that mean? Have you not caught on to this reoccurring theme? ;P)

Butterfly: A Sign for Renewal, Rebirth, and Change

It still hasn't completely hit me yet: summer is coming rapidly to a close. I don't want to say end per se, because it's simply a beginning. There has been so much filled into this summer that I don't want to forget:
I had a wonderful roadtrip around Arizona, Utah, and Vegas with my family, my mom's best friend, and two of her kids.
I met many new people through summer tennis camp and speech and debate camp.
I got closer to some of my previous friends.
I realized more than ever how special the people in my life are.
I had some spontaneous hang outs.
I was assistant chef in creating a feast for a picnic in the park with my friends.
I went to the beach and several pool parties.
I beasted at Twister and charades with my friends.
I went to my first real concert with my sister: Usher!
I hung out at the park with my sister, one of my best friends, her sister, and our sister's friends.
I volunteered.
I saw a rock concert held at the park.
I have been going running; beating personal bests and feeling amazing about it.
Who knows what tomorrow will hold?
For me tomorrow should be ton loads of fun: MOCK TOURNAMENT for speech and debate. Boy am I a nerd or what? It's okay; I've found a place for myself within our school and speech and debate is definitely that place.
For more tomorrows to come: I'm going to be a senior!!! I can hardly believe it! (WHO WHO? ONE TWO! CLASS OF 2012!) I'm not sure if I'm ready for all this yet, but whether or not I am, it's coming. Hello Senior Sunrise, College Apps, Senior Luau, Senior Prom, Senior Presentations, Senior Sunset, Graduation, Grad Night, and every amazing thing in between.

Often times, when I'm out and about or simply reclined pensively, a butterfly crosses my path, fluttering along; sometimes one comes about and circles me. This always brings a smile to my face. It makes me think about how things will constantly change, but change isn't always bad. It's a sign to me that everything will turn out okay and things happen for a reason.

One day during the last school year, I wrote a poem called Butterfly Wings and read it in English class; as I was walking to my next class during passing period, this beautiful monarch butterfly fly up and circled around me several times before flying off into the blue of the sky.

I am Vanessa, Greek for butterfly. And I will be butterfly: a sign for renewal, rebirth, and change. I will be butterfly - fluttering off free and liberated to a new place and new life - traveling the wonders the world has to offer.